Garden support in a changing world
For those who have enjoyed a life of gardening they could also be building an important support system that will help them through future challenges. Garden owner Shirley Sills has been gardening for over 50 years and opens her second garden for the National Garden Scheme in Gloucester in 2025. It is her garden that now plays a key role in helping her cope with her husband’s life-changing Parkinson’s diagnosis and her change of role from wife to carer.
“My husband’s diagnosis came just before we moved to our current garden,” says Shirley. “We realised we needed to downsize, garden-wise at least, once Gordon was unable to physically help me. Two acres was too much for one person.”
Despite downsizing four years ago, the garden they took on had been neglected for about two years and to begin with Gordon was able to help with removing a rotten shed and cutting grass. Gardening was something they had shared for many years – albeit with very different roles.
“I was head gardener, and he nearly made it from general dogsbody to assistant under gardener before we moved,” explains Shirley. “It was good to be able to work together in the early days of his Parkinson’s as we’d done in our previous garden. Unfortunately, now he has little physical ability for gardening, especially as the garden is a steep site with lots of steps, and it holds little interest for him other than that it looks nice, and he can sit out there with a G&T in the summer.”
For Shirley, the garden is an escape but one where she is close enough to see and hear if Gordon needs help or reminders to take his meds. “He can see me so doesn’t have to worry if he needs help,” she says.
The Parkinson’s diagnosis has changed Shirley’s view of life dramatically. At the time of her husband’s diagnosis her mother was also in late-stage Parkinson’s and died only five months later giving Shirley an idea of what might lay ahead.
“In fact my husband’s journey has been very different to my mother’s with different symptoms and progress. One of the hardest things is how our plans for retirement have had to change completely; no more holidays or travel as he doesn’t do very well out of his normal environment. There is also the constant niggling worry at the back of my mind that the day may come when I can’t look after him safely and he has to go into a home. The other change is our relationship. We are due to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary this year but I no longer feel like a wife. I’m more a carer and advocate for
Gordon than a wife and that’s been very hard to adjust to. Working towards our first opening of our new garden gives me a focus and something that’s mine alone and not part of the caring role.”
Shirley describes the importance of her garden to her health and mental wellbeing as ‘phenomenal’.
“It satisfies my creative needs and the fact that no garden is set in stone means I don’t get bored with it. Sometimes it’s difficult to muster up the energy to go out there but once I’m out I get completely carried away with whatever needs doing and, to some extent, put other everyday matters and worries to the back of my mind. At the end of a day’s work it’s very satisfying to stand back and look at what’s been achieved, even if it’s only weeding through part of a border or clearing debris.
“Gardens and gardening have been important to me for our entire married life so it’s good to still have one that I can escape to. It’s good to get fresh air into my lungs and it is definitely better, more enjoyable exercise than going to a gym!”
Looking at the bigger picture, Shirley recognises that gardening can play a very active part in being a carer, finding that fresh air and exercise can be really beneficial to recharging the batteries.
“I know that many GPs are now promoting gardening in place of anti-depressants and other medications. With Parkinson’s, as for so many health issues, there’s a feeling that life is out of our control. It’s a progressive disease so will never improve. And although Mother Nature also ultimately controls things in the garden there is still a feeling that some control, some improvement can be made with a little weeding, planting or tidying. Just the change in mental focus and the satisfaction of seeing results of even a couple of hours outside can be enough to revive an overwhelmed and stressed carer.”
Shirley’s story illustrates the power of a garden to provide important respite from life’s challenges, and her dedication to open again for the National Garden Scheme and for such worthy causes, shows that meeting people with the same interest and getting feedback and ideas from fresh and knowledgeable eyes can be just as uplifting.
You can visit Shirley’s garden at 2 Chapel Hay Close, Gloucester when it opens on Sunday 4 and Monday 5 May and again on Sunday 6 July.
For details click here
This story was originally published in the 2025 Little Yellow Book of Gardens and Health – to read it click here
